We learned our lesson when my father died. We advised the bank and they immediately froze the account, leaving my mother with nothing to live on.

It was only because I knew the bank manager personally that I was able to have him release enough money to pay for funeral and living expenses until the death certificate could be obtained. It was quite different with my mother.

When we realized her remaining days were getting limited, we transferred most of the funds into another account under my and my sister’s name and just continued to pay all her expenses from that new account.

Much to our delight and to everyone’s surprise, my mother lasted a year after that.

But she had the best care possible and no worries. When she passed, we advised her bank who promptly froze the account. Of course, we didn’t care because it only had $100 in it.

The real liquid assets were under our name and we were able to pay all the final expenses and keep up with other payments until the death certificate arrived.

Every estate lawyer will tell you to NOT advise the bank that your relative (spouse , parent, child, whomever) with whom you share an account died.

Why? Because that account will immediately be frozen so that the tax authorities can be alerted. The problem arises, however, when you actually NEED THAT MONEY to get things finalized. It’s a pain. You can’t finalize the estate because you have no money and you have no money because you can’t finalize the estate.

IT DOESN’T MATTER IF IT’S “YOUR MONEY,” TOO (AS IN A JOINT ACCOUNT). IF ONE OF THE ACCOUNT HOLDERS DIES, THAT ACCOUNT GETS FROZEN UNTIL THE COURTS RELEASE IT.

Same is true of safety deposit boxes. They are only to be opened with an official from the taxing authority present. Another pain. They think you might be hiding cash in there (a crime). They will confiscate that. Other stuff like gold and jewels will be subject to an inventory so it can’t get “lost” or distributed “off the record.”

Any estate lawyer who knows anything will tell you to clean out everything before you tell the bank. It’s not being dishonest. It is being wise. Say nothing one way or the other.

Years ago the banks would actually check the obituaries. Now that’s impractical.