When he finished his degree, a friend of mine changed everything over to “Doctor”, so even his frequent flyer card said “Dr. Joe Smith”. He was a bit surprised when I told him “that’s just not done” (in the US).

One concern is that someone might confuse a PhD holder for a medical doctor because medical doctors (who all hold doctorates in the US) use their title in all circumstances. There are two reasons: first, it’s a bit of bragging and seeking favor, and second, they’re (at least now) always doctors.

If I’m at a Starbucks and someone’s computer crashes, I’m not expected to leap in and help, but a medical doctor is expected to leap in and help if that same person subsequently has a heart attack. Some doctors in some places even get special license plates. Is it more bragging or more practical? I don’t know.

I don’t expect (or receive) any preferential treatment. I have a job, and yes, my students refer to me as Dr. Gross, but other than that, my doctorate is an academic qualification and nothing more.

Doesn’t take long for us to realise that doing that makes us a target.

On a plane I can’t imagine how much pain someone would need to be in for them to request I finish them off with a lecture on Pythagoras, and frankly I don’t want to know. In fact there is a stamp in the passport for Medical Doctors so the flight crews know who is on board.

In England I get grief if I even mention it. My wife, who isn’t even English, picks up on this and I get ‘Oh just because you’ve got a Ph.D. you think you’re right all the time’ any time we get into a barney. Obviously the fact is I am right all the time but it’s rather awkward to counter that argument. Still haven’t figured out the correct response.

If I’m in an academic conference or there is a specific reason why someone needs to know that I’m rather familiar with the topic being discussed then I’ll need to weigh up the chances of it getting shoved down my throat 10 mins later. When I go to London Quant Group lectures I certainly don’t use it. Hunting season is open.

They stick wine at the back of the room and say help yourselves. While I think this relates to the wine most of the audience seem to prefer to believe it means open season on the presenter. Given most of the audience have at least 1 Ph.D. (probably only 20% of that crowd have 2 or more) the wolf pack typically don’t take long to bring their prey down. It’s actually rather good sport.

If I sign off Dr Wilson at the end of a letter or email it means I think you’re being a dick and I’m more entitled to be a dick than you because I’ve got the certificate to prove it.