A Spanish friend of mine was stopped by a patrol on a road in Texas. The policeman inquired about her nationality. She answered, “I’m Spanish.” He quickly replied, “I’m not asking what your mother tongue is. I want your nationality.” She calmly repeated the same answer, but the policeman wouldn’t put up with her answer, “Spanish is a language, not a country”.

Finally, she told him, “Look at my passport that you’re holding and see for yourself. I come from a country called Spain, where most people speak a language called Spanish!” The policeman eventually conceded that he had never heard of that country.

It’s all about the same here. Quite surprisingly, believe me, or not, English originated in a country called England. Native Americans, Canadians, and Australians didn’t use to speak that language, they learnt it from English migrants who, for different reasons, decided to settle there.

The main difference is that in Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and Jamaica no-one will ever believe that their version or dialect of English should become the new standard of modern English. They kindly leave that to silly Yanks who still believe America is the best thing since sliced bread. So, well, yes, even though this might sound weird, most people who live in England speak English every day.

Germany is pretty much like France or Spain. Young children in these countries start learning English when they are 9 or 10. And twelve years later or so, they are generally pretty good at it. However, that comes in addition to their mother tongue, be it German, French, or Spanish. English remains a foreign language which is not meant to be used at home but in foreign countries.

Or quite exceptionally to help visitors in hotels, airports, or tourist information centres. However, don’t expect them to gladly speak English with people who don’t bother to learn a few words of French, German, or Spanish or who claim it’s not necessary since they happen to speak English.

The Germans are very friendly and helpful if you try to speak their tongue. My German is pretty rusty, but I always make an effort to speak German in a German-speaking country. I make a lot of mistakes; however, they’re usually very patient, and ready to help. If you’re not ready to learn a bit of German and assume everybody should speak English with you, you should stay at home!